Lenten
Meditation 6 March 2012
“I think forgiveness
is the only event in which you simultaneously experience three great graces:
God’s unmerited goodness, the deeper goodness of the one you have forgiven and
then you experience your own gratuitous goodness too….There is really nothing else
quite like it for inner transformation, which is why all spiritual teachers
insist upon it, both in the giving and
the receiving.” (page 37)
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Sts. Anne and
Joachim Catholic Church, Fargo,ND
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Lent
began almost two weeks ago with a reminder of our mortality and an extended
confession. Each year, as we prepare for
the great celebration of the Resurrection of our Lord, we are challenged to set
our lives on a path which draws us closer to God and one another. Lent gives us the opportunity to take stock
of our own lives; we are called to look at how we have fallen short of the full
stature of Christ in our relationships and dealings with others. It may be as much of a challenge to recall
those for whom I feel animosity because of their behavior toward me in order to
forgive them. It is not enough to make
our confession, either in our heart or with another person, sacramentally or as
a 5th step from a 12 step program.
Our call is to be reconciled. Now
I know that is an extremely difficult task; how can I forgive someone who has
hurt me deeply, especially if they have not come groveling at my feet, begging
to be forgiven? Or how can I receive
forgiveness from one who I believe I have not hurt and even worse who I believe
has hurt me?
We
have before us the “God task” of forgiveness.
I call it a God task, because God offers us forgiveness and
reconciliation before we even realize that we are in a state of broken
relationship with God. I may have been
aware at the time of a sin that I was not acting appropriately, but then
immediately my defenses kick in and I can justify virtually any behavior. Remember Genesis Chapter 3? “Adam, did you eat of the fruit?” “It’s not my fault. It’s the woman’s fault—and yours because you
gave her to me.” “Woman is this
true?” “It’s not my fault. It’s the serpent’s fault—and yours because
you created it.” (My own paraphrase.)
Sound familiar? Perhaps you have
not accused God quite so blatantly for your sin, but there have been occasions
when I have fallen into the trap of blaming anyone and everyone (God included)
so I can feel better about myself. “Oh,
I am not so bad after all.”
Long
before I come to my senses and realize that I am wallowing in my own sin, God
has prepared a banquet for me, calling me back into the relationship of beloved
child being welcomed home. By the time I
am ready to admit that I have sinned against God and those human beings that I
have hurt, God has put my sins far from me.
My confession allows me to recognize the reconciliation which I have
been offered, and hopefully to accept it with open arms.
Forgiveness
and reconciliation, as I have alluded, are not just for me. As I receive God’s forgiveness, I must give
forgiveness away prodigiously. There is
a phrase in the Disciples’ Prayer—usually called the Lord’s Prayer—which says,
“Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” That is a very sharp two-edged sword. Some years ago I realized the import of that
phrase and re-phrased it to say, “Forgive me my sins only as much as I am
willing to forgive those who sin against me.” As the little old lady said, “You’ve quit
preaching and gone to meddling.” But
that is exactly what I believe Jesus is saying to us in the prayer He teaches
His disciples—then and now. We can only
accept what we are willing to give away—which is why it is a God task.
In
the past two years I have heard repeatedly, “I cannot forgive _____ for the way
he/she treated me and the things that were said.” “I cannot forgive the lies that have hurt me
and my friends.” “I cannot forgive them
for taking my church building from me.”
Perhaps you have heard the same things, or even said them yourself. I challenge the speaker every time I hear
that because I know from personal experience that when I refuse to forgive I am
the only one who is hurt; the one who has offended me goes merrily on their
way. My soul, on the other hand, becomes
calloused with unforgiveness and my spiritual health suffers. Like the proverbial bad apple that spoils the
barrel, a lack of willingness to forgive belies what I preach and the way I
want to live.
Forgiveness
may be a task that takes me a long time; it may not be immediate. I have had to forgive someone repeatedly over
a course of years before I was completely ready to let go of the pain and truly
be reconciled. By the time I had reached
full forgiveness the person had died, but I was no longer chained to the hurt,
anger and fear that had burdened me for so long. It is possible now to look back to the
original hurt and know there was hurt but not be enraged by it. I can even celebrate the relationship which
was broken and rejoice in God’s joy in my own forgiveness.
This
Lent, I want to challenge you to look at your own life to see your sins which
need to be acknowledged; then accept the reconciliation that God offers. Then look for those individuals that you need
to forgive and begin the hard work, the God task, of forgiving them. “There is really nothing else quite like it
for inner transformation, which is why all spiritual teachers insist upon it,
both in the giving and the receiving.”
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